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19.06.2021

A shape of you , a name of unknown

I opened the door; someone is sleeping there. I jumped on the bed moved inside the blanket; Someone was there lying half asleep. I noticed a smile, an invitation by touching those soft breasts while my whole body rushes to move the thrill in one moment. Waking up to realise it was not real, merely a dream that does not exist—swallowing down that rush, like how one tries to catch the breath when it's hard to, this was more like saving it, not letting it flow.

I could feel the exchange between Aakriti. It looks like in my head that she likes me and wants to explore me. I tried to tell her that we should communicate more when we meet in person, but she wants to know what is going on. Getting a lot of attention, I like this.

The whole night, I spent how this relationship will be, like non-passionate where we can spend some time understanding each other with the help of meditation. I realised, going to Aravali hills does not make any sense; it is pretty impractical. Instead, we can rent an Airbnb, that way we can spend time with each other, So I am going to ask her that " Hey, why don't we take some nice space in Delhi for a day and meditate, and get to know each other better through living with each other for a day.

I think it's too early to put all of these expectations, but sharing the truth is more important than keeping it hidden unless it's not needed. Sometimes, the need comes with some lessons and realisations and biological responses. Human systems are such, recording everything on the body and letting it spurt with the mixed state, so we don't know what is genuinely our truth.

I was thinking of different ways to express love; meditation is one of them, then thinking, I would ask her to sit with me in a lotus position on my lap to make her feel comfortable and aligned with my breath.

My whole point is not to accelerate our breath; in that case, we would lose a lot of energy by not preserving it; the true wisdom arrives while sitting with that energy for hours, letting it burn slowly.

Sincerely, I fantasise about her in the first part of the night where I was thinking should i involve myself with her making love to her, then realising how possible? For that, we might need to do this.

Meditate for a couple of days, practice gentle touch and help each other measure breath.

Concentrate on the breath and preserving energy while stimulating each other using our body parts.

Then, setting up space to express ourselves naked where we can feel ourselves totally without any shame or any judgement.

Practice constant breath flow and understand not to flush the energy. If reaching the peek, maintain it, thereby slowly taking it there.

Once we are there, then we are ready for the love that is not through passion.

I wish we can make this in real life possible, but it looks like this will be a distant dream with just expressions in different forms for now.

I love you; let's cuddle a bit, let's kiss a bit, let's be open.

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