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03.01.2021Stories

Part two of Strange Loops

Meeting Asif,

To describe meeting Asif, I have to go back and define a few more people around me at that time.

Simran, the world-class Art thinker, has a pleasant outlook towards art, shy while putting it out. I was with her for a few months in Pune, after I ended a long love drama with Evalina.

Simran and I kicked off instantly. I remember asking her one late night that i would like to make love with her. She just came running. Her explanation, to see, How dare I say all of this? Though we ended up making out that early morning.

Interestingly, I observed an inherent pattern later, simultaneously working out a relationship with two women. This pattern holds here, making Simran confused, even though we would end up in bed every other day making love, which was not that great. I realized it was a traumatic bonding, one that can consume you totally and leave you battered.

Sometimes, She would talk about going out with other guys. Moreover, I would encourage her, and one day she did. She went out with a german guy Tobi, who wanted to settle down and marry someone in India. If he said all those, then it must be true.

She played along, sensing I will intervene, After she went out with Tobi, I told her I also like her, and we can be together. Partly, It was my fault. Why? She wanted a clear answer for our relationship, which I kept saying, let's see wherever it goes. When she went out with someone, i felt threatened; I jumped on to save myself. Though she could have put out her feeling too, which she never did, that presents me to doubt her intentions.

Later, she realized this could not go on forever, tangling her with a bunch of other guys, and after she would put all of this confusion of her on me, classically blaming others for your situation.

We decided together this needs to end. Simran had to face Toby and tell him that they cannot be in this kind of relationship. Sailing on two different boat stems from deep insecurity towards the actions I display.

She called Toby in the evening, and they went out. While they were out, I was with my flatmate and her boyfriend hanging out in a restaurant close to backpacker panda, a hostel in lane four of Koregaon Park.

While Simran was fixing Toby, I would sometimes go out and see both of them talking. Toby looked depressed as if someone had taken his life, felt terrible for the poor soul. I was a little bit worried about what if she decides to go with him. Every time i would approach both of them, she would tell me she might have to go with him, and i was like, for what?

That day, I realized this is crazy, and i mean, this was like going mad, though little did i know that this was just a starting point of those curves that goes into different axis altogether. Like in Math, you have the X-axis and Y-axis, and you are there in both of them simultaneously. My life would later tell me that this is what i wanted.

We sometimes fail to see the physical reality of who we are? and at the same time wanting something else.

Simran and Toby talked for hours on the street, sometimes at Unika's place, on the other street corner, close to the ATM. It seemed they had conversed everywhere. Toby sent himself in infinite regression, and he wanted to know why this was happening to him.

Simran played on him or retraced back, or maybe I persuaded her for doing so.

Three o clock, early morning, I had nothing to do. I was wondering what will be the outcome of the Simran meeting. A thought popped up to me that later while hanging out with Unika, i had left one portable charger somewhere.

I carried Veena's portable charger since phone had battery issues; Veena is the flat owner. I remember leaving the portable charger there in the restaurant.

While Simran was softly arranging her relationship with Toby, I decided to visit the restaurant people knowing there would be something worth unraveling too. I took Toby's scooter, which was not in good shape. He mentioned softly to me, "please return on time because I have to go home".

Koregaon Park is usually cold in the early morning, enormous banyan trees sprawling out on sideways of streets, reminding buddha nature. Entering lane four, outside the restaurant's main gate, the night watchman suggested come in the morning, I requested him please its urgent some of my belonging is here.

There, I met Asif. He was in his deep masculine voice sounding similar accent from UP, with short hair, several inches smaller than me in height, wearing all modern clothes. He commanded the night watchman to open the gate since he stayed in this hostel next to the restaurant; the watchman did as he said.

While the watchman is trying to figure out the gate's keys, Asif asked me whether if i had a cigarette or not, i said just one, plus he responded would you like to have some tea "I can get you some tea," I said yeah sure why not.

Asif mentioned, he just arrived from Lucknow. His purpose is to defend a friend accused of fraud and drug-related stories.

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