This is nothing new, but it's actually a kind of friendship; I know her very well, feeling her sometimes when she speaks to me, although not sure. I am a bit shy and have told her very clearly that I love her.
I used to watch her when she would work in her garden. It is exciting talking to her; talking to her now feels distant; wanting to come closer to her; there was a massive circle of people you had to cross and then reach her.
Her smile, the way she would talk, those twisted words which i would not understand, her going to bed in the evening wholly drained after finishing her work. I would wonder how can i give her comfort and make her at ease.
Never happened that way. She listened to others and always saw me in that light, entirely different from what she has heard and listened to.
I asked her for a walk, but she always said No; I knew she wanted to, but she held herself back.
Now that we are away, I am trying to gather courage; hey, I love you. However, how do I say it to you? I mean, unless I see you, and I never know when that happens.
I should forget her, or should I just tell her my feelings? I think it's better to tell her my feelings and mention that it's ok and we can be however our fate decides to be.
Well, I actually don't want to be with her. Let's be honest, I just want to undress her and make love to her and show her the real meaning of love and make her blossom once again.
It's like saying that I would like her to live once more, but who am I? I mean, she is living happily with her family, just that does she need all of this in her life right now?
I just wanted to spend some time with her; I mean, the real thing is that I have a clue that she likes me, and I want her to admit this,
But what's next?
Just keep telling her that I like her.
Well, what do I want?
Actually, in true essence, I want her to know how much I love her. There is no limit and definitions to that.
She can react however she could, but i will have to forget her and move away from all of these feelings, as she sent me a message this morning about impermanence.
These days she asks me to get married. This will calm me down. Am i high on energy?
Watching this patiently!